Ranting

Friday, February 6th

I need to rant and rave today - thank you dear daughter for ranting for you/me.

LUPUS - you suck there is NOTHING GOOD OR worthwhile about you! All you do is cause pain
fear
worry
tension
anxiety
stress.

It is not FAIR that one stupid disease causes so much upset for so many people.
WILL THERE EVER BE A CURE?

Where is the hope???????

I spent last night in the ER with my sweet husband. Monday morning, 10:00am surgery - a thoracotomy. Splendid. Lupus has deteriorated my tissues and paralyzed my left diaphragm causing immense pain and spasming. I have not one but two, two diaphragmatic hernias - one big, the other smaller. No choice but to totally open me up, remove what's dead or damaged and put mesh or plastic in my chest to protect my colon from getting caught up under my diaphraghm and getting pinched - again. This is surgery event #2 for a trapped colon. Grace? Nothing has exploded. Why does this have to happen to me????? For that , I am grateful. I'm just tired of all these medical things that get in the way of my life. I'm supposed to go to DC in a few weeks for the Lupus Advocacy Day - I really want to go. I just hope I am able to.

This is where God comes in big time. I just don't know what I would do if I didn't have faith that he is with me every step of the way. That's the good news.