Friday, January 30, 2009

Tests and Doctors

Friday, January 30th

I'm wondering why anyone would ever read this blog? I want to share encouragement, strength and hope - but getting there is always painful or difficult.

This has been a week of doctors and MRI's and swallowing studies. My doctors are great. The techs all know me (you too?) because I've had so many tests done in the past 18 months. The tests themselves exhaust me to say nothing of the 1.5 hour drive each way with no traffic. Needless to say I'm tired and hurting today. But I don't want to stay this way.

So, I need to do somethings that will lift my spirit. First on that list is walking the dog. I am blessed to have a beautiful path we drive to to walk. That will help. I want to bake for my husband's birthday party tomorrow - do I have the energy? Could I do it and not feel resentful that all my energy went to his cake and snacks. It sucks when you only have 3 good energy hours in a day.

So much of this disease is figuring out how to live with all the nagging, relentless body issues. So often it's a daily thing to just keep my spirits up. I need to remind myself that I do it for me - when my spirits are up my day is definitely better. That's the reason I work so hard to have a good attitude. While attitude isn't everything, it's probably 90% of it. Attitude of gratitude. Okay, that's where I will be for now.

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